Need Not Want Not.

Oh you silly child, here you are, convincing your self that you matter, that you can do something. Never tell yourself you are good at something because as soon as you begin thinking it someone will happily come by and tell you that you are not. That you are merely an amateur, that what you are doing and thinking will never be half as good as that person over there. You don't want to hear that because no matter what you tell yourself you will be crushed. Something you've been doing for years trying to perfect and just before you think you've got it: "We changed our minds, they're going to do it instead. You're good just they're better." You can do it, you just do it wrong every single time.

Remember: Crying doesn't make you childish, crying makes you human.

The End.

Down the rabbit's hole.

"I can see you there

With all your despair

Now I can help you out

But there’s only one way I know how

And that’s the way back to me

But I’m not so sure

If that’s where you want to be

I’ve seen you sad

And I know when you’re clearly mad

But that happiness

Has been gone so long

That now I don’t know

If it can return

I’ve waited patiently

But nothing seems to be

How I thought it would"

I don't know. I can see everything and it all fits but it doesn't at the same time. There's two pieces that fit together, there are the same two pieces that are definitely not working. I can see that, I don't need someone to scream it at me, thanks for the offer though? But I have hope, I do. Maybe not as much strength as I need for that hope though. But I still have it and do I not have the right to cling to that hope especially in a time of need like this? I understand what's going on, though I don't, but when they try to tell me I know they're only getting the outsider's view. What's on the outside may seem to be nothing, and isn't everyone always saying: It's what on the inside that matters? Well then you are blatantly contradicting yourself if you think: The inside is what matters but what I see on the outside means you should give up. THAT IS IGNORANT! Honestly. It is.

Emails Galore and Other Tales

So I have a lot of emails:

mangoroxon@gmail.com

mjcmv923@yahoo.com

maggie.here@live.com

maggeek@yahoo.com

softballgirl6@yahoo.com

geektasticproductions@gmail.com

girlface923@aim.com

and i keep forgetting the rest but my newest is:

infinitedilemma@yahoo.com

woot! my blog has an email address. and if you havent noticed i am sticking with infinite dilemma for awhile (e.g. my twitter, my AIM, my blog, my email and even my gaia account is Infinite Dilemma.) So hit any of those things up if you want.

Now, the reason I haven't been blogging as much. I've started something new. The Alcott's had their own version that they would read aloud at their dinner table. Ralph Waldo Emerson had his called his "Savings Bank" and now Maggie Cochran (me) has her own. I call it "The Inside Passage". It's where I write down any thoughts I have or any inspiration. I'll probably put a couple on here in time. But right now it's strictly ink and paper. It's amazing how much I could put in there that's been in my head. It's not exactly a diary though I do write opinions and if anything intriguing happens but it's all in the name of art.

I appreciate different things as art. I believe writers are artists and it's a shame that people don't realize that a lot of times. You can hear a musician- art. You can see a painting - art. But you need a brain and a heart to be able to read a writer's art. Hey that rhymes. But in all seriousness, writing is my art and my passion. I just more people realized it's not just a story but in fact a work of art in its own right.

Bite my tongue...Again.

I love you but I'm not IN love with you.

But I can't tell you that. And you know it.

Even if we don't need each other.

As we're getting older we're getting more aware. We know what we like now. We know what looks right. I hope you're okay. I miss you even though we were always at that awkward stage. Remember forever: Can't Touch This.
Forever memories. Mr. Christian.

No more serenading

Your Defense Mechanism is Isolation

When life gets to be too much to handle, you just withdraw. You rather not deal with things. You tend to be a very isolated person. You want to connect to others, but you don't know where to start. The problem with withdrawing from the world is that it's hard to reintegrate yourself when you're ready. Instead of pulling back when you have problems, it would be better for you to reach out.

What's Your Defense Mechanism?

So stressed. Not something good right after vacation. Don't know how i'm going to handle any of it.