My Life Quote?

Tenet insanabile multos scribendi cacoëthes. (The incurable itch to write posseses many.) -Juvenal

I found it when I was 12? I believe and have it basically etched into my being for the rest of my life.

Come to think of it, if I ever do get that tattoo the Latin would probably be an amazing choice. Any opinions? Great! Then, it's settled.

Self Esteem Booster Friends

- I really like that picture of you!
- Really? What picture?
- Y'know, that one where you're looking down.
- The one where you can't see my face?
- Yeah! You look so pretty! I like that other one too!
- What one?
- The one where you look really different.
- Oh, the one where I look nothing like me?
- Yes! That one! It's gorgeous.
- Thanks I guess.

Gun to my head

Yep. New piercing- Cartilage. It makes me happy.

So my dad called my mom and told her he left the garden hose on and if she could turn it off. This was probably six hours ago but as she was about to go to bed she yelled down for me to go turn it off even though I was working and in the middle of an order. She kept yelling at me and then finally turned it off. Whatever.

I've been really stressed today. I'm at that place where you feel like crying but you just can't bring yourself to have actual tears.

Wasn't there some show that was about a guidance counselor at a high school a while back? It had the girl from 27 Dresses in it. Dunno.

My ear kinda hurts right now. :/

2 weeks until Alaska cruise.

Beyond the border

I love Matthew Joseph Dallas. He is amazing. And that is the reason I am currently watching The Witches of Eastwick on DVD because he's going to be in the television series that the movie is based on come September. I also watched "Babysitter Wanted" an Indie horror film he was in a couple years ago.
I swear I would drop everything for that guy and his piercing blue eyes.
It's nice to dream every now and again.
Favorite quote from the movie?: When Cher's yelling at the guy and insulting him and then says: "You're not even interesting enough to make me sick."

Stupid

Two phrases I hate:
I know.
-and-
I'm sorry.

Because they're rarely true.

Emerald Eyes

At school there is a girl that's my age but a grade younger. Her name is Emerald. She was in my Literature class this year though. I learned something very valuable from Emerald one day. She was trying to decide on the perfect date for a year from then for a tournament she was planning with various people in school. She looked at the exact date a year from then and shook her head and then said, "No. Because that would be expected."
Do what's not expected. Don't keep thinking your life needs a little box. I used to want to say what people will expect. I didn't want to jar them from what they know. But sometimes you have to. Sometimes I get sick of playing by their rules. That's when I do something they don't expect.
I don't believe in attending funerals.

Not so easy is it?

I keep watching, waiting for them to notice what I just said, what I've said for so many weeks in so many different ways. I can't explain it any easier than that! My two year old nephew would know to say: "It's okay Auntie. I'll talk to you." I write. I'm not a public speaker, I'm not going to claim to be one, I'm not a big talker. Give me a pen and paper and I'll explain everything, without hurting you. Without regretting anything. But tell me we need to talk in person. I promise you, I will indeed freeze up, let you get your way and you'll be happy but I'll still be here. And I will feel like I'm inside myself and myself is my prison and that prison is going to contain me until the "walls shall crumble to ruin and moulder in dust away." To quote my dearest Longfellow if I may. But do you want that? Is that really it? You just want me to throw everything away for that? Sorry. I can't. Just listen and it will be fine.

Reality

You know what I would like? I want to reality to come and hit a few people upside the head and say: STOP IT! Stop being an idiot and look at the whole situation! You're happy for you but you're happy for you only in this moment of time. Yes, enjoy it, but no, don't take it for granted and stop shoving it in everyone's faces. Stop letting yourself control everything. It isn't just you right now. NEWTON'S THIRD LAW OF MOTION! Don't you get this!
And then when reality is hitting them, they'll get it.
This is ridiculous.
Can I handle it? Should I let this go? Should I count the days now? Maybe I could wait it out? Nothing lasts forever, right? I don't even know if Plan B will work! I can't get rid of step 1 when there isn't a step 2. Right? But if I'm irritated and annoyed, then it's my fault. But it isn't. But it is. But no! That isn't how it works.
This isn't a one way street. I'm on a highway! Everything is happening fast and things are coming from exits that I must have missed when I thought I was watching and then there are police cars everywhere and then bumper to bumper traffic! But then it's quiet and a bunch of cars went off that exit back there to go to the city and it's okay again. Then I almost crash into someone's red SUV and notice the exit on my right. Crap. There are more cars.
This is my life right now. I don't know what to do about it. I'm giving up.