Not so easy is it?

I keep watching, waiting for them to notice what I just said, what I've said for so many weeks in so many different ways. I can't explain it any easier than that! My two year old nephew would know to say: "It's okay Auntie. I'll talk to you." I write. I'm not a public speaker, I'm not going to claim to be one, I'm not a big talker. Give me a pen and paper and I'll explain everything, without hurting you. Without regretting anything. But tell me we need to talk in person. I promise you, I will indeed freeze up, let you get your way and you'll be happy but I'll still be here. And I will feel like I'm inside myself and myself is my prison and that prison is going to contain me until the "walls shall crumble to ruin and moulder in dust away." To quote my dearest Longfellow if I may. But do you want that? Is that really it? You just want me to throw everything away for that? Sorry. I can't. Just listen and it will be fine.