The Beginning Once Again

So bloggers, here's the deal. My dad is making me write at least fifteen minutes every week in order to get my new phone which requires a monthly data package where as my current phone does not. Torture right? Well fine, I'm up for it.

I should probably explain why my father has such a keen interest in my blog all of a sudden. Right? Okay, well I want to go to this particular college that is much more expensive than a state college or a state university and is a private out-of-state college. This university offers a scholarship. Of about 25,000 dollars at least. I have a fairly good chance of getting it already because of my grades and it is for communication majors. Which I will be one once I actually get to college. But a key thing that is required is a portfolio. I have a little less than a year to develop a scholarship-winning portfolio. Apparently a blog is a great part to have in your portfolio according to this professor I talked to there. So yay! I already have one- this, duh- and now I need to make it so some person who has money will look at it and say- sure, we can give her our money. And that will be that.

I need an angle though. Something that appeals to a certain demographic. I think it will probably be along the lines of senior year of high school/applying for scholarships/applying to college journey type idea. Wow this was a lot longer than I expected.

But don't worry I'll still have occasional random posts that will be enjoyed by all. Hopefully.

So here's what happened this weekend. My parents got a call a few weeks ago from this company offering free airline tickets if they went to a 90 minute seminar about what they thought was a time share company. My mom was reluctant but both me and her have been planning two separate trips in the summer so we could really use the plane tickets.

The seminar was not for timeshares. The seminar was for a travel company that gets people top of the line stuff ( 5 star hotels, great rental cars, condominiums, airplane tickets, etc.) for ridiculously cheap prices. But you had to buy a membership. They decided to buy one in the first ten minutes. Hey, whatever works.

So now my parents are planning a bunch upcoming trips, the most likely ones to happen: Prague (my mom's idea), England/Ireland around Christmas time (my dad's dream) and the Netherlands (my dream). I'm going down to Texas to see my best friend in July too and my mom is going to Chicago and Florida sometime this summer. I love traveling and I am beyond psyched. Thought I'd share with all my fellow bloggers.

Live Long and Prosper.

-Maggie

I'll Write the Song That You'll Sing for Me Baby

Why can people never say what they mean?

I abhor people who don't have integrity.

Please, please, please, please, please, Say what you mean and Do what you say you're going to.

Then after you can show me that you can do that more than once... Then we'll talk.

Life has been crazy. I haven't had a moment for anything. I don't even know when I'm going to get a break again. but whatever. Life happens. I've been spending the majority of my time looking for colleges. I think I want to major in communications because I'm not sure what to do and that has a lot more jobs than just Sociology. I hate talking about colleges though. It's so overwhelming. SAT's frighten me too. I just want to apply and leave everything else alone. I can't wait to be done with it all.

Photography

Not all pictures on this blog are mine. Sometimes I will post my own but a lot of times I will use other people's who have a lot of talent and pick one that fits best with my theme of the post. The second to last post is from my best friend Jessie Allen. Not Jessica. Same way I'm Maggie not Margaret. See how we're so great?

I'm going to try and get an official post out tomorrow or on Christmas day itself. Ironically I should have more time Christmas day than just Christmas Eve. Who knows maybe later tonight even? I don't know we'll see how everything plays out.

I've been caught up in a story I'm writing called Leila, Darling. More to come on that soon.

-Oh, and the picture in this post is actually mine. It's me and my new shiba inu Oliver :)

Run Around in Circles

In my literature class we read a couple sonnets. Then we had to write our own, either by ourselves or with a partner. I actually ended up co-writing one with a friend of mine on another topic. If I can get ahold of it I will post that one too. But it's vacation now and I ended up writing another one. Here's a couple things about a sonnet: it consists of fourteen lines, the first eight are the octet which follows a rhyme scheme of ABBA ABBA generally. The last six lines are called the "sestet". The sestet's rhyme scheme is less predictable I used CDCDEE for the sestet this time.

Run around in circles until the world is spinning

You're not the only one there but that is how it feels

Everyone watches you as you make your deals

But let it fade away and keep on grinning

Keep on going child this is only the beginning

As you turn, they all can see how you're head over heels

The longer you go the more it blurs like a race car's wheels

Keep going though, you're still winning

Even though it all looks fine, you feel sorry

Every thought you think leaves you confused

Wandering through the world with your eyes so starry

Will only leave you alone and abused

And just like this

Everything else fades into the great abyss

One of many Passages

I mentioned the Inside Passage briefly awhile ago. Back in August or July.

Since then I've developed different rules for it:

1. I only right in blue BIC pens or black fountain pens for the reason of i dont want to ever erase what I put down.

2. I will never rip out a single page no matter what it might say. Even if I just used it for scrap.

3. I don't date anything or write cliche things like: Dear Journal. I don't want to be bothered by that. And it's not just a journal. It's just me.

If that makes any sense

Here are a couple they may make no sense but maybe someone could relate in some little way:

I keep watching as reality runs farther and farther away from my grasp until I'm completely alone sitting in utter darkness. That sense of complete

loss, abandonment, and confusion encasing me.

So I wrote.

I wrote and I wrote and I though I killed it at the time. Now I know that I did not.

Look at me. I'm right here. Maybe not for long physically but in this exact moment I am here in front of you. Stop trying so hard to deny it.

Can't you see it isn't working?

Writing is what I can control because apparently I can't control a single thing that goes on around me.

Maybe that's why I do it.

Maybe that's why I get so involved in it and put me into my characters.

Maybe that's because I don't know how to even put me into me.

I try acting like I never gave up. But it's so obvious that I did.

When I forget it even for a minute it just crashes again and I remember a little more.

People say that a blank page is scary.

But it isn't the emptiness that scares them. It's the truth about themselves that will be revealed on it.

I believe that everything we write down reveals a truth about who we are.

(and just because I havent written in awhile I'll give you an extra long one)

What's it like when someone you love moves away? :

It's like you're driving down a road and you see signs telling you: "Brick wall ahead!"

You ignore it for the most part though because there's a great song on the radio and you don't want to miss it.

Then the signs start counting down how close you are to it.

And you keep going and then you crash into that brick wall.

And the music has stopped.

Just like that, everything is in pieces all around you and you don't know how to move forward after this.

You feel stupid; there were all the signs and you knew what they meant but until you crashed you didn't know what it was going to feel like.

And it feels worse than anything you could have imagined.

You feel abandoned.

And they're no where in sight.

You hear someone say: "Just wait and see who else comes!"

But you know they won'te even come close to what you had because you had the best.

And even if the next person comes close, though it hurts just thinking about this,

But you know it will be ages.

And you know you'll just be tossed aside like every other person always does because you just don't "stick out".

Just like that: they're gone and it feels like a death.

They were the passengers in you car and you're lying alone on the road on top of bits of glass.

Okay there you have it.

Picture is by my photography friend: shattered-spectrum.deviantart.com/

Feel free to stop by and say hello.

Chancing it

I'm really defensive at the moment. I'm not so crazy about people telling other people what I tell them within the same minute I tell them so person number two starts talking to me about it. If I was talking to them I would have chosen to tell or not tell them myself. I'm fed up with people.

School's been taking up every spare moment and I feel guilty I'm writing this when I should be studying for Honors Literature's second term quiz of the quarter. I've had too many things running through my mind. Way too many, more people keeping popping their heads into my lives to either jump out a moment later, or make me wonder in a way I feel I should not wonder.

I'll write a real blog tomorrow. Pinky promise!

~Maggie.

On the topic of The Sandman...

It has begun.

Okay, despite popular belief I actually do not despise school. Yes, it's boring. No, the friends are not the only reason I care about school. And yes, it adds a lot of work and effort. BUT, I'd rather be in school then constantly not doing anything. I'm now officially a junior. That still sounds weird not because I feel older in any way but junior means only two years of high school left. Two more years of living at home. Two more years until college. Junior year also means the dreaded horrid SAT's.

My classes are as follows:

1. Worldview.
2. Geography
3. Spanish IV
4. British Literature (Honors)
5. Chemistry

I can't yet say which I actually dislike. I know Lit. will be the largest work load, Chem. will probably be the most difficult, Spanish IV will be the newest curriculum wise because this year is a lot different than the other years (more speaking and reading and writing- less vocab but more difficult). I can't really say anything for Geography and Worldview. My worldview teacher may be my favorite - we had a walking race in the hall on the first day. I won.

The thing about Lit. is that there are a lot of essays and reading. But reading and writing are my passions. And now we can actually discuss what's beneath the surface of everything. I'm invisible to my Russian English teacher but that's a story for another day.

I don't know how to say the way I feel about chemistry- I love learning about chemicals especially medicines but I will never be a medical person because I wouldn't be able to take school for as long as it takes to get any where in medicine.

Worldview is said to be very interesting but I don't know for sure. It's a lot of reading. Which I actually need to go do.

Alright, I'll shut up. I know this must be disgustingly boring.

Here's what I shall leave with:

Try coming up with something inspirational on the spot. Something deep. Something others will awe at. Try. Type in the address bar. It can be one sentence. If you come up with something leave it in a comment. It can even be a fragment. Just do it. Gopher it. Leave reasoning behind. Go forward! Jump. Stop questioning it. Stop wondering and thinking. It's there. It's already in your heart so put it down.

It won't hurt you. From here it can only help.

Jump my fellow humans. Jump.