Progress for the sake of Progress' sake

Quick update: my apologetics teacher has changed! I no longer have any idea on what to expect now. I know it's my teacher who taught Worldviews last year but he's never taught Apologetics since I have been at the school. So... I guess we'll find out together! I don't really like this teacher however. He's kind of a jerk.

Peace, Love, and Penguins,

Maggie

P.S. It took longer to find a picture than to write this post. Sad fact.

Let the credits play

So let's make this a more personal entry, sound good? Okay.

Senior year excites me and stresses me out but it's honestly not the main focus. Everything else seems to be getting in the way of that thought. My mind is focused on my brother who is getting really anxious about how the doctor told him he has lesions on his esophagus and my brother is a really strong person. Him and my mom are the strongest people I know and it really scares me to see him going in and out of the hospital. It has made me have a lot more sympathy for those people who have little babies that are stuck in the hospital. And it makes me mad that people have children like that and still have more children they make suffer through the same fate. My mom, my brother and I all have the same anxiety problem. We also don't let anyone see it. The only way I know what he is going through is from talking with his wife. He didn't even tell us about the lesions never mind that he's freaked out about it. It's at the point where it's all I can think about. School seems like the last thing on the list to be concerned about. Why should I get worried or waste time thinking about that when my brother is afraid for himself now that he has his little girl and his wife needing him? School will go but my brother is part of me. I'm scared for him and I don't know what to do. At the end of every day I feel worn out and exhausted and it's all I can do to go to sleep. He's gone through so much only to wind up here? What's the point of that?

Countdown to the End

That title actually makes a lot more sense then I realized. I have less than two and a half weeks until I go back to school. When I finally go back, it will be the start of my last year. I am extremely excited to get out of there. I want to get out of my school and away from almost everyone. I want to get to college and then I want to get on my own completely. I want to get an apartment in the city and leave every morning and come back every evening and not be accountable to anyone but me. I want a job, I want to do things myself because I'm sick of people doing things for me and then they turn around and guilt me about it. Alright, so to give you all a heads up: I am transforming this blog from an anything goes kind of thing into a Senior Year Blog. I'm going to keep track of nearly everything that happens this year. So let's start with the most I know about how my senior year is looking right now:

A Period: Apologetics- this class scares me a little bit. I have an essay due at least once a week in that class. I have worked with the teacher on different projects for the past four years and it's fairly likely that I will be one of his top students this year considering I'm going to be the year book editor this year and he's the guy that oversees the yearbook. But it still makes me pretty nervous.

B Period: American Government- this course does not scare me considering I've had the same teacher for history for four years and this will be my fifth. However, it still seems like the more difficult course that I've had with him.

C Period: Study Hall!!! <3>

D Period: American Literature- I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I have a new teacher for this class and he's known for being more difficult as a fifth grade teacher than all our high school's teachers combined. He TERRIFIES me.

E Period: Lunch.<3>

F Period: Study hall. Horrible people in there that I never talk with.

G Period: Study Hall. More horrible people I don't like and never talk to.

H Period: Finance. AKA my dad's class. It's going to be embarrassing.

Somewhere I'm supposed to also fit in my independent Spanish 5 class with my mom who is the spanish teacher at my school. UGH. Not looking forward to that either.

Next, I have, hopefully, dual enrollment for one class a semester at a local college. Which I have to go to orientation for on Thursday. I also have my first driving lesson on Thursday. :/ Ick.

More later.

Peace Love and Orangoutangs,

Maggie

Last Christmas I gave you my heart..

It's been crazy.

It's finally summer but despite popular belief it does not mean my life slows down or stops. It just means that there are different things occupying my time. Such as, working for my dad's online bookstore, more chores, finding scholarships, applying to college and lots of random plans. Working towards getting my license and will soon be signing up for driver's ed. classes which scares every ounce of everything I have out of me. I know they're going to be frightening even if it is just sitting in a class taking notes.

I just got back from Texas a few days ago and I miss it a lot. I was visiting a friend down there and stayed with her family for the week. It was fantastic and they made me feel like part of the family very quickly which was great but now I miss them like family.

In other news I finally found a way to connect two very strong stories together. It's a dream come true. I've always wanted to write two short stories then have them overlap into a story in which the characters come together. I think I finally have it but I need to put some more work into the second one "Madelyne" right now, "Ivy" needs to be moved at a quicker pace but considering where the story is right now I believe it will be very simple to take care of that one. I think I'll actually post some of one of them next time. That might be an idea.

SAT SAT SAT SAT SAT

I have spent about the past four months dedicated to the dreadful, evil, treacherous, despicable and villainous SAT's. I have taken a class that was four hours at eight in the morning, every Saturday morning for five weeks where I would take a Practice SAT every Saturday. On Mondays I would have a three hour class from six to nine at night for six weeks. It would be after a long school day, and either softball practice or a softball game. Many times without having dinner before hand. Not fun to sit and study tricks at that time. Since the class ended I have taken the real SAT's twice. Both times at schools where I did not know one single person. Has anyone else had to do that? I don't really recommend it. It's kind of soul eating. If you know what I mean. You have a lot of people looking at you and all you can think is: You don't know me, I don't know you, can I please just take this test that was designed to make me fail so I can get out of here? I promise you will never have to see me again if you let me. Thank you stranger.

So now I am finished though. I got a good enough score to get into the colleges I want to go to and so that is fine by me. I took it the second time because everyone I talked to (with the exception of my mother who would prefer to save money) said that I should take it at least two times because "most people see their scores go up the second time" and so what's wrong with my score going up? I say nothing.

What have your pre-college-application experiences been? Good? Bad? Ugly?

Oh and by the way, if anyone knows prerequisites for college recommendation letters that I can pass on to my teachers then please let me know!

Onto the Next Order of Business

I gave you all a glance at what I've been reading lately in my last post. Now I'm going to tell you a couple random things about my favorite literature "stuff" (for lack of a better word). I have a couple favorite authors.

• Neil Gaiman
• Neal Shusterman (I don't even care much for the name Neal/Neil, but apparently it makes for a great author, who knew.)
• Laurie Halse Anderson
• Janette Rallison
• Maureen Johnson

So those are my top five. I didn't even know I had a top five but I definitely would say those are it. Mind you, they are not in any particular order and I do like others but those are my top. I actually get a lot of my books from the library. Practically all of them. I love owning books but I don't love spending twenty bucks for something I'm only reading once. Since we're on this topic of book borrowing here is something that I've found from one of my aforementioned favorite authors that is very admirable and as a writer myself (although unpublished) I find myself agreeing with it.

"[D]on't ever apologize to an author for buying something in paperback, or taking it out from a library (that's what they're there for. Use your library). Don't apologize to this author for buying books second hand, or getting them from bookcrossing or borrowing a friend's copy. What's important to me is that people read the books and enjoy them, and that, at some point in there, the book was bought by someone. And that people who like things, tell other people. The most important thing is that people read... "

— Neil Gaiman

I've always been one to praise the people who do what they love for the joy of it and for getting it to others, not the ones that do things for the fame or the money. If an author or a band are more interested in doing what they love to do just for the sake of it, I'm going to love their finished product that much more. I'm more likely to spend the money for someone I respect than someone I don't and from this quote I tell you I respect Neil Gaiman.

Love and Baby Sloths,

Maggie

Night Life

In the past month or so I've read three outstanding books (they're not the only books I've read but they are the ones I liked the most). The first book was "The Great Gatsby", I read it for school but it was actually fantastic. It normally is rather painful to read books that are assigned but "The Great Gatsby" is a "great" book. Pun kind of intended. There were a lot of hidden things in the book, and I'll admit I didn't pick up on nearly all of them but I have a personal belief that not every author rights a book with the intention of having every word containing a hidden meaning. Sometimes an author will just write to tell the story that is inside of them, not to make a treasure hunt for readers. I honestly believe that those things that people claim the author intended something to mean something just make it up so that they appear very intellectual to those who will listen to them. I know this can happen because I've had to write essays before that contain that very thing. Made up stuff meant for someone to go, "Wow! I didn't know that's what the author meant!" (AP English class forces you to do that.) Now, don't get me wrong, there are definitely times where authors write with the intention of communicating a message but if a six year old wrote a poem that rhymed, the rhyming pattern does not always contribute to the meaning of the poem! The kid probably just wanted it to rhyme because they think poems have to rhyme. Not because it has anything to do with what they're writing. I know I've even written poems that rhyme before and I didn't think, I want it to rhyme this way to provoke this emotion. Sorry but it does not always happen like that. But "The Great Gatsby" definitely is a book worth reading. I was surprised how attached I got to the main characters. Even the title character!

The second book that I got swept away by was "A Doll's House" by Henrik Ibsen. I absolutely hated Nora in the beginning of the play (yeah, it's actually a play, not a book, sorry about that). But by the last Act, I actually found myself rooting for her and developing a life long hate for her husband. I had never even heard of it before it was assigned in my AP class.

The third and final book that I'll mention for now is "Night" by Elie Wiesel. It is my new favorite book. I do not even know if I can explain it in any way to give it justice. I never thought much about World War II before reading this. I thought it was a horrible time but I never really took the time to imagine what the people thought when it first started happening. I never thought what they really went through. Just as a human, like me, with real emotions. It was the most intense book I have ever read. Plain and simple.

Love and Monkeys -Maggie