Reboot

It's summer! 

I've officially completed my first semester of junior year now. The second semester is going to be the real winner for sure though. Next semester I will be living, studying, walking, eating, and existing in Vienna, Austria. 

At this moment in time though I am back at home and trying to recover from my finals. Right now my days consist of prepping for a internship/job interviews, unpacking, catching up with DVR, playing with my dogs, and working out religiously. I've discovered in the past five days that I don't remember how to relax. It's been over two years since I've had more than two weeks to be at home. I don't have much else to say except that I'm exhausted and want to fall asleep in a quiet clean hotel room. 

Peace, Love, and Armadillos,

Maggie

Painting from here.

Lifting the Veil

Here we are. It's been well over a year, maybe closer to two years, since I started this blog. About a year and a half since I focused it on one specific area of my life: my education. I started this in my junior year of high school and now I'm a freshman at Franklin Pierce University in little Rindge, New Hampshire.
Words cannot express how much I love this place.
I've been here for three full days now. Everyone has been nothing but nice and the campus is beyond beautiful. The first night was a little rough. Lots of awkward silences and some homesickness mainly for my dogs and a bit for my parents too but I tried not too think too hard on it. I was tired and I was nervous.
The next day was great though. Free time until noon then fun and games for the rest of the day.
Today's highlight was playing hackysack even though I failed miserably and playing frisbee in front of a band that was playing in the freshman courtyard. Unbelievably fun.
I have some things left to check off put I'm pretty comfortable with getting it done. I'm so happy here and I already don't want to leave senior year.
I don't party. I guess I'm technically straight-edge in that sense. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I don't do any sort of drugs. I've seen enough of the destruction all of that can cause. I don't want a part of it. I've seen wives with young children widowed from smokers dying of lung cancer, I've watched families destroyed by alcohol and husbands always looking for their next high at any price.
I know who I am. I'm not at college to find myself. I'm at college to be myself and to better myself.
Peace, Love, and Pandas,
Maggie

4 score

I've never been the type of person who likes to admit an ending is near. I hate endings. I have four computers with unfinished stories because I hate endings that much. I always like to think something more could happen. This time, this ending, I don't get a say in.
I had my last day of high school yesterday.
I hated a lot of things about high school. I'm not a great test taker. I'm an A student but that's not achieved without lots of stress and lots of coffee. I hate typing up tedious homework that my teacher isn't even going to look at but I still put everything I have into it. I hate dealing with the administration.
But I'm going to miss my classmates. I'm not close to all of them but I know them. They feel like my comfort zone with college looming around the bend. I'm going to miss people walking down the hall with a plate of cake or brownies or cookies. I'm going to miss the sharing of food. I'm going to miss hearing them say "It's New Testament, what do you expect?" and the New Testament quality of living (duct tape is revered there).
I'm excited and a little nervous about going to Franklin Pierce in the fall but more excited than anything. I'm thrilled about being able to take classes I have interests in and to meet a world of new people.
It's been four years that have gone by slow but filled with memories and people I'll never forget. Now I'm ready to make four more new years.

Lunges in Gas Stations at Midnight

Hi again.
Long time no post.
Last week was April vacation which means among many other things: I now only have 32 days left until my last day of wearing burgundy and I promise I will never wear burgundy after that in my life. I will be glad to not have to wear a school uniform ever again. They're fine for school but I want to be a "normal person" from now on.
Over April vacation I, with ten other people, crammed into a fifteen passenger van with the back four seats removed last Sunday morning at the crack of dawn (give or take) to begin a seven hour trek down to the lovely world of central Pennsylvania. My finance class (more on that later) and I visited one of my family friends down at his college where we saw a tree randomly split down the center and fall down. We went to a coffee house open mic night they had going on. Refilled our thirty-two ounce cups three times in the cafeteria. Walked on a bridge that was partially submerged in seven feet of water and had "CAUTION DO NOT CROSS" tape at the entrance. (Please, who reads warning signs?) Then once it hit around 11:30 instead of thinking "hey, we have to leave at six tomorrow morning three of my friends" (Amanda, Elisha and Jake) and I all decided: Hey! Why not go driving around and try to find something to do in the middle of nowhere in a state we know nothing about? My mom (my parents were chaperones because my dad teaches the finance class) drove us around but because she has the worst sense of direction we ended up getting lost a few times mostly because we didn't have much of a plan in the first place and didn't bring a GPS.
We ended up at a twenty-four hour supermarket.
We purchased a bunch of food and headed back out to our big white van that besides reading "DAVE RAMSEY OR BUST" and "LIVE DEBT FREE" "DEBT FREE AND LOVIN' IT" and "DEBT'S NORMAL BE WEIRD!" on the windows was otherwise unmarked. When we returned where we were staying for the night, we started a full game of Apples to Apples since the people who had stayed already played a newly invented game: "Ghetto Scrabble" (which instead of playing the word "post" you can play "pohsttt" instead). Armed with salsa and chips we came up with similarities between Dumbledore and Classy (because "Dumbledore makes sassy classy.") and Dick Cheney and quaint. Discovered that the trump cards for Apples to Apples are: anything with old people, E.T., and Santa.
After my best friend Jessie won by a landslide, we all settled onto the floor and slept for three hours (again, give or take).
The next day we began our journey from the middle of Pennsylvania to Nashville, Tennessee where the whole purpose of our trip would take place. The drive took twelve hours. Are you counting? That means eighteen hours in the car out of two days. At this point most of us had forgotten how to walk. The first real stop was at a gas station/Dunkin' Donuts in Woodstock, Virginia. We met Margie and Elaine there. Two southern women who worked there. Margie tried to hit my dad with a towel and Elaine said she wanted something to punch herself with because the cash register was not working. Oh Virginia, the land of awkward and crazy. After a couple more stops we finally hit Tennessee. We went into a McDonald's but then Jessie saw a shop that sold Beanie Babies and so we went in there for a bit. It smelled like old cigars. Welcome to Tennessee. Jessie bought a beanie baby Walrus.
After an extra hour that we hadn't been expecting because we hadn't figured out that there would be a time change, we reached our little motel: "Fidr's Inn." It was supposed to be Fiddler's Inn but some of the letters were burnt out. Still Fidr's Inn gave us all a chance to shower up and nice beds to sleep on for the night. Before going to sleep though we went for a walk through Grand Ole Opryland. A gigantic hotel with a waterfall, night club, and about five restaurants inside. Basically a small city inside that was probably even larger than my actual city. At Amanda's suggestion that we "Live a little and have dessert before dinner." We all got gelato. Except for Mike who is too addicted to coffee (like a true New Englander) to pass up a chance at fresh non-gas station coffee. Then we headed to the Carney Fork which was a restaurant in the same plaza as our motel. Jessie and I split a Gator tail because one of our teachers always say they refuse to eat anything that could eat them. So being the type of students we are, we went directly against that. We got there around 9:45 pm and it was closing at 10 pm but fortunately other people were there too so they didn't dislike us too much.
Then around eleven almost all of us piled back into the van to see if anything was going on in this state. We figured out how to get to Nashville this time WITH the GPS even after a couple of mishaps such as coming to a complete stop at a red light and waiting for three minutes before realizing that is was a "blinking" red light (it got brighter then a little darker and we made the same mistake the next day during the daylight). After finding out where the real part of the city was we walked up and down the main street but then left because we all had a very big day in the morning.
The next day was THE day. It was the whole reason we planned this trip. It was the day we were going to meet Dave Ramsey. Yes THE Dave Ramsey of The Dave Ramsey Show.
We walked thru Nashville again trying to calm our nerves and again burn time. We arrived at Financial Peace Plaza where Dave does his show a little early so because it was past lunch six of us got back in the van to stop at Burger King down the road. Halfway through the meal a girl on the trip named Amanda got a text from one of the boys who had stayed at the plaza that said Dave had gotten there early and they were chatting with him. Because this was the whole purpose of the trip we all immediately left and got back into the van, someone even threw away their food. We almost got into an accident we were in such a hurry and then halfway back he replied, "I'm just kidding."
We met Dave, handed him a basket of presents and a little book we put together over the year. He even signed our copy of the book. :]
Then we met Rachel Ramsey Cruz. Rachel is in the movies we watch of Dave for Finance class too. She was very sweet and answered a lot of questions that we asked her.
The way back was when the real trip began. We came, we conquered and we were on our way back. A twelve hour drive without stops. What else can you do but sing songs about anything and everything you see that had to do with trip? For example one lyric was:
Poor windshield, covered in bug guts and no one to clean it, poor windshield.
The only part of another I can remember is:
LIKE A BANANAAAAAAAAA!
And then there was the famous:
If you're happy and you know it, say DAVE RAMSEY!
At the end of the singing we stopped at a gas station off the interstate called Love's. I think it was still in Virginia but I'm not sure. It was midnight and we were all kind of spaced out and hungry. We started doing lunges in the middle of the gas station while half of us either ordered food or put quarters in that machine that you try to push more quarters forward to win more quarters. Then we went outside and did more stretches. We had started doing stretches at gas stations the first time we stopped on the trip back to see who could touch their toes and who couldn't. It was at a gas station called Pilot and they had the best gas station coffee I've ever had and during that trip I had A LOT of gas station coffee. But this brought it to a whole extra level actually doing them inside the store.
We arrived at the place we were staying in Pennsylvania at six in the morning after leaving at four from Nashville. Needless to say we fell asleep on the floor immediately after rolling out our sleeping bags and dropping our pillows.
We woke up to two random ladies typing on the computers in the room and men coming in with a Coke machine saying: "hey look, people are sleeping, must be April vacation and they're having a sleepover." It was a very strange feeling to wake up to people you could barely see talking about you.
By ten a.m. we were on the road again. The rest is pretty self explanatory. We did make it back and we were groggy and felt gross but we were all home and it was good.
It was a fantastic time and this post took longer than I expected.
Peace, Love, and Gazelles,
Maggie

I've Got It.

So here's the lesson I've been learning:
Don't let go of your dreams.
It doesn't matter how ridiculous, farfetched or trivial they are, do not let them go.
Who wants to live in a world without dreams and hope? Not me.
If you let go of those dreams you will definitely not accomplish them but don't play them down. Your dreams need time and faith to develop. They aren't always instant but if you decide early on that they won't matter in the next two years of your life, why should they become important later?
Maybe it's because at this moment the whole world seems before me. College, career, life in general seems like it's just starting but I know that beyond that, I still want to hold onto all the dreams I've had as a child, today and the ones that will come in the future. That doesn't limit me to just the dreams of today I have full confidence that I can take an opportunity and it can turn into a dream I had not even dreamt of yet.
This post may be short. But it means a lot to me.
Peace, Love, and White Tigers,
Maggie

Track Records

I have an announcement but I will not be displaying it here. It is at Tales of Eiggam. Thank you.

I just want to say a few words about Japan.
My heart goes out to them. I can not imagine that level of devastation. I admire the people so much, I've learned a lot from them. The Japanese and their families around the world are in my prayers.

Thank you.

Peace, Love and Koi Fish,
Maggie

P.S. I just spelled my own name wrong three times. That is all. There isn't anymore.

Lady Luck

Everything is coming to a close.
I have my financial aid reports back from every college.
I know what A. college will give me and what B. college won't give me.
I know what A. college will accept for 6 credits and what C. college will accept for 3 credits.

I think I've made my decision.

"I think I can. I think I can. I think I can."

Apart from those great words from our dear old friend Thomas the Tank Engine, I would like to add something I've learned this past week.

"Do not let the clock rule your life."

This is so easy to let happen. Everyone follows their clock. At 6:55 I need to be in the car for school. At 7:30 I need to be at school. At 8:00 I need to be in homeroom. Before 9:30 the lunch order must go down or I won't eat today. Before 10:00 I need to have that paper submitted online for my teacher or it will be marked late even though I have the hard copy. And so on and so on.

It's easy to let time guide you. But you can't LIVE like that. You must take each moment you have and live it to the fullest. Don't let what is happening at 11:15 dictate how you feel at 6:30. Enjoy what time you have. What you feel at one moment, you are allowed to feel. But you don't have to be chained to that moment for 24 hours. Don't let anyone make you think that you have to be.



Peace, Love and Quails,
Maggie

Photography by: http://fl0urish.deviantart.com/

Hi there stranger.

I haven't posted on here in such a long time.
I guess I haven't had a lot to say.
I've been doing a lot of thinking, a lot of stressing and a lot of dreaming.
I don't know about college and you don't know how much I would like to know.
It's always in the back of my mind and there's really not much I can do about it.
I have to wait for all the lovely financial information to come in but the colleges don't seem so concerned about getting all that information to me....
I received a bit of advice from an older family friend.
She told me: Don't fear anything. Just breathe. It's all going to come together.
I keep repeating these words to myself.
I'm feeling the pressure and I don't do well under pressure that I cannot give a well educated answer to. But I tell myself that somehow it will happen and things take time every once in a while. As hard as it is for me personally to accept, I know it's true.
Love, peace, and woodpeckers,
Maggie

I've Been a Miner for a Heart of Gold.

I love Neil Young's music. Bit becoming obsessed but those things happen. And they're for good. I promise.

So I will reveal to everyone my big secret! All nine of you! And I'm thankful for each one of you so here's your reward:
I WAS ACCEPTED INTO COLLEGE!!
And not just one.
I'll post them in order of response.

1. Regent University- My dad's college.
2. Franklin Pierce University- It's right near my grandparents and aunt and uncle.
3. Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts [MCLA]- A friend of mine goes there. Cute area.
4. Emerson College- Located in Boston, which I love and thus right near my cousin.
5. Emmanuel College- Boston also.

I have more reasons to applying to these places than just those. They all have my major for one. I want to go into Public Relations. Most likely for businesses but that's not pinned down yet. It will be awhile before I decide everything.

So, I like all of the colleges. A couple more than the others. A couple were safeties but I don't want to rule anything out.

I can't decide. Everyone tells me: You'll just know! Well guess what, I don't. I don't have anything against them I just don't have one I love over every other.

Money is always a factor, of course. But when is it not?

I don't know if I should be listening to people who say it doesn't matter as long as the degree or if I should be making connections with professors in my field.

This year is a year of decisions. And I know that for better or for worse they will be my decisions. That thrills me and scares me. But I have confidence in myself and I'm grateful my parents are not pressuring one over the other. They understand that this will affect where I will be living for the next four years of MY life. This place is where I'm going to decide who I want to be as an adult. And that's exciting. I want to be somewhere I'm happiest and feel safest. And there are so many factors that come into play but I'll be fine and I'll figure it out.
I know I will. I have time to do it too.

ALSO! check out talesofeiggam.blogspot.com . My second blog! Bit more of a personal touch.

Peace, Love, and Parakeets,
Maggie

And we're back in the real world Toto.

Yep, I have officially started school again and the only thing it's done for me is make me excited for February vacation and overall college honestly.
I do not mind the work I have to do at school, I do mind the tedious talks they give that have no connection to the subject matter at hand. I want to either have the time to do the work they are assigning and have them not talking about things we already have learned for the past four years or I would rather them not assign these assignments. Period.
I have 2.5 weeks to prep for my mid-year exams. I have no idea was is supossed to be on them. And for some reason whenever any of us students ask them, they say "You don't need to worry about it." Yeah, why should we be concerned about fifty percent of our grade? We're obviously being overdramatic.

Well, because of stressful situations such as the aforementioned incidents I have devolped a nasty habit that I never knew existed: Bruxing. Bruxing, according to some site I found on google, is when you clench your jaw. Apparently, I do this. And I do it a lot. I clench my jaw when I am tired, nervous, upset, or under stress. Also, it turns out I not only do it when I am awake, I also do it when I am asleep so I wake up in the morning with severe jaw pain.
I found all this out when I thought that my wisdom teeth were coming in. No, they are not coming in which is good because I hate the idea of oral surgery. I went through a series of x-rays, including the one that spins all the way around your head and makes you wonder if they are aliens scanning your brain for information on how to take over earth, and after all that with no results to determine why I was having this pain that I was sure must be from my teeth being pushed together by intruding yet invisible wisdom teeth. I was wrong. And I'm brave enough to admit that to you.
My dentist then asked me: Are you under stress?
I answered no to this because I never really feel stressed. Normally I see a task that I must complete and I do it to my absolute best ability. After that, I forget about it. I move on with my life and fill my time with what I want to do.
The he asked: Do you grind your teeth? Or do you clench your jaw?
I said no to both because I never had thought the question before to myself. After thinking about it though, I realized I don't clench my teeth but I do seem to clench my jaw. Who does that!? Me.

Peace, Love and Pomeranians,
Maggie

A New Year

Happy New Years!
So 2011 is going to bring at least three major events.
1. In Six months and eight days I will be graduating from high school.
2. I will be entering college and living somewhere completely new regardless of where I go. I may be living in the middle of nowhere or I may be living in the middle of one of my favorite cities. But that's a bit of a difficult choice since right now I live an hour from the city so I live in a very rural area which will be a big transition.
3. And finally, I will be turning eighteen, which is just exciting in general.

It's definitely going to be a year of changes.
I'm excited but cautious and determined to remain focused on what I need to be doing.
Hopefully in the next couple weeks I can let you in on that secret.

I have mid-years coming up around the end of this month which should not be too painful.

I spent New Year's Eve at my best friend Jessie's house celebrating her birthday and eating lots of Chinese food.

Final announcement:
I started another blog, I feel like it will actually help me focus on keeping updated here.
http://talesofeiggam.blogspot.com/
Check it out if you wish.

Peace, Love and Rabbits,
Maggie

Can you guess?

Merry Christmas EVERYONE!

We Wish You a Merry Christmas Break

It's almost Christmas and that means I am officially on break.
Which means applying for scholarships and my friend's annual sleepover for her birthday. I'm sort of sad it will be the last one where we're all together. I'm sure I'll go by next year but I can't vouch for the others' plans.
I cannot believe all the work I have been doing since Thanksgiving.
I have had papers nearly every night and I was sick for awhile also. This senior year is not going as smoothly as I thought it would be. I'm getting used to all these papers.
I have all my applications out, I still have to send my SAT scores to one college though. I know that everyone decides by May, but I really don't want to wait that long. I'd like to have my decision by March so I can tell people where I'm going when they keep asking: "WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO COLLEGE!?" but right now, I'm not positive.

I still have that secret but I have to wait a little bit longer. I'm sure you could guess what it is but I am holding out for Christmas or New Years. I haven't come to a decision on which holiday yet.

Speaking of the holidays, my favorite part of them is visiting my family. My closest family is an hour and a forty-five minute boat ride away. Then the distances steadily increase. Because of this, I don't see my relatives all that often. I usually see my aunt and grandparents once a month, but I only see my mom's side of the family once a year. And that's at Christmastime. It's such a great time to see my family!

This is how my break WILL go:
-Make Snowflakes.
-Drink lots of tea and coffee (but not together).
-Color (I'm an avid colorer, I bet you didn't know that now did you! These are the things that you NEED to know about me.)
-Watch lots of films.
-Start working on my other blog (http://talesofeiggam.blogspot.com/)
-Write a lot.
-And of course, listen to music.

And that should fill up the next two weeks pretty well. Not extremely productive to some but I NEED this vacation.

I love snow, but for some reason we aren't getting a lot. We got about half an inch over the past couple days. But now it's raining and has all disappeared. This is not my idea of a pretty Christmas. I like snow on Christmas but the last time I saw snow on Christmas, I was nine.

Well Merry Christmas!
I'll be posting next week also.

Peace, Love and Reindeers,
Maggie

Your Last Expectation

So I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm thankful for my dog not dying after getting hit by a car and seriously injured and I'm thankful that he is back to his normal self.
How's that for an intro?
I had a really marvelous time at my family's up in the middle of nowhere New England.
This is how my day went:
Went to the grocery store/got coffee in the morning with my aunt and cousin Jessica.
They shortchanged my aunt twenty dollars and we had to go back.
Barely made it in time for the meal.
At the meal my brother disappeared (he's 31 so it wasn't a scary situation--calm down)
Turns out my dear brother Joel got ill right before he started to eat and went to lie down upstairs.
I ate lunch then graded papers with my cousin Stephanie for her third-graders until 8 at night.
Then we saw "The Next Three Days" and if you have not seen it yet you are missing out big time.
I went to bed at 1 am and got up at 6:30 am for Black Friday.

Wonderful day.

My brother Jason, his wife Sara and their little girl Ava went down to Pittsburgh for Thanksgiving sadly. I missed them a lot because we have gotten very close since Jay became sick. He's doing a lot better though. Watching what he eats still and Sara tells us he looks fantastic now.

I have some secrets I'm keeping from you all for a little while. But I will fill you in soon, maybe by Christmas. I'd love to tell you now but let's keep it quiet.

Cue the excuses.
I'm sorry I haven't posted. I've been having a really busy year. My principal had been very tough on our class this year and won't let us fundraise for prom, class trip, or yearbook. It's getting ridiculous. She also has told us we need to meet with her on a certain day and when we try to she refuses to talk with us. I've also been busy getting things done before this break and I actually am procrastinating on a paper due in a couple days in my government class. It's not a major paper. Just a bit of a nuisance.

My school has been difficult about the application process right now. They refuse to send things out until people contact them saying it's getting late. This does not make sense to me. I am not a fan of my school at the moment.

It's been a rough couple months but there's been a few positive notes. I'm ready for a real vacation. I was on full throttle this entire break so I haven't had a moment to pause yet. I thought I'd update you all before I slowed down. Tomorrow I'll take it easier. Scout's honor. I'm not a scout though. So strike that. I promise. There you go.

I love this picture. Not so sure who it's by but it reminds me of Les enfants du paradis, which is my all time favorite film.

Peace, Love, and Gazelles,
Maggie

Thought to be overactive nerves.

So I sent out my applications.
Kind of.
I still need to get my transcripts and recommendation letters sent.
I did my essays and I am hoping they went alright. I didn't want to ask my new literature teacher to review them because he has been looking really critically and negatively at my writing recently and I don't need any more negativity than I put on my college process myself. He's partially why I have not been writing on my blog because he really had been putting me down as a writer in the past couple months. Needless to say, he is not my favorite at the moment and not the person I would use to review my college essay. I had my dad look it over instead. He said he thought it was excellent and that was good enough for me.
Now the only thing that is left is to wait, and wait, and wait.
All of my insides will be upside down until I get an answer, hopefully good. Knock on wood. Kiss a frog. No black cats. Closed umbrellas. Throw salt over your left shoulder. And all that jazz.
Peace, Love and Porcupines,
Maggie

Half way into the exit.

Hey there Blogworld-
I'm back from the great beyond.
I have been uncharacteristically busy recently. Let's go over the basics:
-I am now seventeen years old. Write it down everyone, that's important stuff right there I tell you.
- I got my driver's license. Today. Most nerve-wracking experience and even though it took only five minutes it was painful.
- I started my college class. Yesterday we learned how to do hat tricks. I think I might be able to get a decent grade in it.
- School would be fatal if you took away my best friend. Thanks, Jessie.

I got invited to pages.videojug.com by the editor Jemma. That is exciting.
I also realized I got a job offer in my email. Unfortunately it is only for a Halloween store that will be closing in a couple weeks. Got put into spam. And it was sent two weeks ago. SO thanks a lot technology. You are very unhelpful when it comes to job hunting.
I still have not started my college essays. Even thought they aren't due to December and I get severely stressed out whenever someone brings them up. Apparently this makes me a slacker.

I looked at MCLA a couple weeks ago and I love it there, but I also love Franklin Pierce University, so we're going to have see what happens. I'll definitely keep you posted on that though.

Oh and my brother is doing better. He has Crohn's Disease. So he has to watch what he eats.

Peace, Love and Walruses,
Maggie

"Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment. " - Jim Rohn

I admit I do not have any clue who Jim Rohn is. But I like the quote because it pretty much sums up how I feel about school.
I completed the first "week" (it really was only three days but I'm going to run with this if you don't mind) back. It was pretty good. I went back Wednesday and had homework from six o'clock until ten o'clock. But the actual day was fantastic and I would not trade it for anything. It was probably the best first day back to school since second grade.
The teachers however have not been making the transition back the least bit easy on us. Let's put it this way: I had three papers due the very next day and they instituted a "Zero Tolerance Late Work Policy". We get a twenty percent reduction if we turn it in late the first time, but the second time we get a zero and still have to complete the homework after school with the teacher and they call your parents. I have never turned in homework late before but now I am just absolutely terrified.
Thursday dragged on for so long though. I do not have any clue why but it seemed to go on forever. I was so tired by the end of it but after that Friday was great. We read "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe in Literature which is one of my absolute favorites.
This year may be tough but I think I'm up for it. Let's hope.
Peace, Love, and Ravens,
Maggie

Progress for the sake of Progress' sake

Quick update: my apologetics teacher has changed! I no longer have any idea on what to expect now. I know it's my teacher who taught Worldviews last year but he's never taught Apologetics since I have been at the school. So... I guess we'll find out together! I don't really like this teacher however. He's kind of a jerk.

Peace, Love, and Penguins,

Maggie

P.S. It took longer to find a picture than to write this post. Sad fact.

Let the credits play

So let's make this a more personal entry, sound good? Okay.

Senior year excites me and stresses me out but it's honestly not the main focus. Everything else seems to be getting in the way of that thought. My mind is focused on my brother who is getting really anxious about how the doctor told him he has lesions on his esophagus and my brother is a really strong person. Him and my mom are the strongest people I know and it really scares me to see him going in and out of the hospital. It has made me have a lot more sympathy for those people who have little babies that are stuck in the hospital. And it makes me mad that people have children like that and still have more children they make suffer through the same fate. My mom, my brother and I all have the same anxiety problem. We also don't let anyone see it. The only way I know what he is going through is from talking with his wife. He didn't even tell us about the lesions never mind that he's freaked out about it. It's at the point where it's all I can think about. School seems like the last thing on the list to be concerned about. Why should I get worried or waste time thinking about that when my brother is afraid for himself now that he has his little girl and his wife needing him? School will go but my brother is part of me. I'm scared for him and I don't know what to do. At the end of every day I feel worn out and exhausted and it's all I can do to go to sleep. He's gone through so much only to wind up here? What's the point of that?

Countdown to the End

That title actually makes a lot more sense then I realized. I have less than two and a half weeks until I go back to school. When I finally go back, it will be the start of my last year. I am extremely excited to get out of there. I want to get out of my school and away from almost everyone. I want to get to college and then I want to get on my own completely. I want to get an apartment in the city and leave every morning and come back every evening and not be accountable to anyone but me. I want a job, I want to do things myself because I'm sick of people doing things for me and then they turn around and guilt me about it. Alright, so to give you all a heads up: I am transforming this blog from an anything goes kind of thing into a Senior Year Blog. I'm going to keep track of nearly everything that happens this year. So let's start with the most I know about how my senior year is looking right now:

A Period: Apologetics- this class scares me a little bit. I have an essay due at least once a week in that class. I have worked with the teacher on different projects for the past four years and it's fairly likely that I will be one of his top students this year considering I'm going to be the year book editor this year and he's the guy that oversees the yearbook. But it still makes me pretty nervous.

B Period: American Government- this course does not scare me considering I've had the same teacher for history for four years and this will be my fifth. However, it still seems like the more difficult course that I've had with him.

C Period: Study Hall!!! <3>

D Period: American Literature- I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I don't want to go to class. I have a new teacher for this class and he's known for being more difficult as a fifth grade teacher than all our high school's teachers combined. He TERRIFIES me.

E Period: Lunch.<3>

F Period: Study hall. Horrible people in there that I never talk with.

G Period: Study Hall. More horrible people I don't like and never talk to.

H Period: Finance. AKA my dad's class. It's going to be embarrassing.

Somewhere I'm supposed to also fit in my independent Spanish 5 class with my mom who is the spanish teacher at my school. UGH. Not looking forward to that either.

Next, I have, hopefully, dual enrollment for one class a semester at a local college. Which I have to go to orientation for on Thursday. I also have my first driving lesson on Thursday. :/ Ick.

More later.

Peace Love and Orangoutangs,

Maggie